Yes… we’re going there. Yoppie loves to spill the beans on the things nobody wants to talk about, so whether you’re a total newbie to giving a blow job, or you’ve always had unanswered questions, this is the guide you need. Forget all the rumours and myths you heard in high school, let’s clear some things up...
Whether you’ve heard it called a BJ, blow job, fellatio, or something more creative from Urban Dictionary, they’re all just a bunch of colloquial terms for oral sex involving a penis. The general idea is to use your mouth in a repetitive motion on the penis to create a feeling of arousal for the receiver. Despite what the name may suggest, the only thing you don’t want to do is blow. Trust us, that won’t go down well...
Absolutely not, you should only do what you feel comfortable with. That said, don’t be embarrassed by any curiosity you have to give it a go. It’s an intimate experience, but if you feel comfortable with your partner there’s no reason why you can’t try it to see if you like it. Also keep in mind that just because your partner goes down on you, does not mean you must ‘return the favour’. Forget any pressure you feel to reciprocate, that’s not how it works.
It can be difficult when your friends are very open with their sexual experiences and expect you to be the same. It’s estimated around 85% of adults have performed oral sex at some point in their lives, so it’s pretty common, but that means there are around 15% of people who think ‘Nah, not for me!’ and that’s absolutely OK.
If you are still young and discovering sex for the first time, remember there’s no rush. In fact, waiting to try some things later is often a great idea - like saving the best sweets in a box of chocolates to eat last!
Unless you accidentally bite down, there’s really no way to mess up a blow job. It’s just a lot of licking, sucking, and basically putting the penis in your mouth in a repetitive motion. Begin with your hands to get things going, then start licking to apply some saliva to keep things slick and smooth. You may prefer to use flavoured lube for this.
Slide your mouth up and down the penis, taking it as far in as feels comfortable. Keep the penis lubricated, your teeth out of the way, and voila! That’s pretty much it. If your jaw starts to hurt or become stiff, try alternating between mouth and hands to switch it up and give your jaw a rest.
It’s normal for your gag reflex to kick in, as the penis may reach the back of your throat. Try the above method of switching between mouth and hands, or place the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth to create a barrier so the penis hits the underside of the tongue instead. This gives the illusion of ‘deep’ but keeps things shallow and manageable for you.
There are all sorts of techniques you might hear about relating to blow jobs, some more adventurous than others! We’ll cover the basics of what objectively makes a good blow job:
Ah yes, the age-old question… spit or swallow?! When your partner ejaculates, there are three options. Firstly, if you’re not keen on having semen in your mouth, bring them to near climax then switch to using your hands to take them the rest of the way. Job done.
If you’re happy to have them finish in your mouth, you can either spit out the semen afterwards or swallow it. Keep in mind swallowing can transmit STIs, but contrary to schoolyard rumours, you cannot get pregnant by swallowing semen. The choice is yours, and whether you spit, swallow, or switch to hands, your partner will likely enjoy it regardless.
Don’t worry if your partner doesn’t ejaculate. An orgasm isn’t always the goal with oral sex (or any kind of sex, for that matter!) and your partner may enjoy themselves without reaching the stage of ejaculation. Sometimes BJs are just a bit of fun without an endgame, sometimes they are just foreplay, and that’s OK.
Yes. STIs spread via any contact with bodily fluids or the skin of an infected person, so it’s possible to catch one while giving a blow job. Some of the most common STIs to catch through oral sex are gonorrhoea, genital herpes, human papillomavirus (HPV), and syphilis, and the only way to avoid catching something is to use a condom.
Got a question about blow jobs? We’re not shy about answering! Shout out over in our private Facebook group, or drop us a note on Insta @itsyoppie. Don't forget that our personalised menstrual care subscription can get organic tampons, PMS supplements and much more delivered easily and regularly through your letterbox, which frees up some headspace for thinking about the more fun things you can get up to down there...
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